No one covets rejection. Not personally, not professionally. Even when we try to wrap it all up in a pretty bow and look for the “bright side” the cold, hard truth is that rejection sucks. Period. That said, if all we ever did were focus on the crap, we’d never get to taste the cream (Sorry, I thought hard about a more appetizing metaphor but just couldn’t come up with one).

Recently, an article in Writer’s Digest on rejection caught my eye, and it brought up an experience I’d like to share with all of you. If you care to read on, remember that while this particular incident isn’t about my writing, the experience is applicable; the circumstances are just a little different.

I just got passed over for a big job, and I liked it!

I was recently in the running to DP a new Amazon documentary. My name was given to one of the producers (whose last film won at SXSW), and he reached out. We exchanged messages for about a week and finally set a time to meet for an interview. When we finally got on the phone, he began the conversation by discussing my reel. He complemented the work, and then we spoke at length about my approach to filming documentary projects, how I light, the gear I like to use, my creative approach to visual storytelling, working with a limited budget, and managing a small crew.

As the call was ending, he informed me that the pool of candidates was down to just four DPs in the region, I was the last interview, and that he was meeting with the other producers on the project later that day. Since they needed to move forward quickly, he would let me know as soon as they made their decision.

Once we hung up, I returned to working on an edit for a client and didn’t give the call much more thought. That’s not to say I’m a cool breeze or anything; it’s just that I’ve been at this long enough to know that fretting over whether I will get a job is typically wasted energy. I compare it to wetting my own pants. I’m the only one who feels the discomfort. LOL! But I digress.

The Letdown

True to his word, the producer texted a few hours later. He started his text the same way he started our phone interview. He complemented my past work and my willingness to perform under some of the budgetary constraints he told me they were under. He then went on to tell me I did NOT get the job. However, he would like to pass my contact information on to another producer he knows who is bringing an indie feature to the area. I suspect he might say that to all the DPs, but who cares? I’ll take it.

I messaged him back to thank him for his time, commended his decision to pull from talent in the region rather than fly someone in from the coast, and offered my services should he have questions or need recommendations while in the area.

What I didn’t do…

What I didn’t do was ask him who got the job or if there was anything I could have done differently to better my chances. First of all, that’s his business, not mine, and second… it puts the interviewer in the horrible position of feeling like they need to defend their decision. I know some people do this, thinking they come across as open to constructive criticism and working to improve, but trust me, as someone who interviews crews, it only smacks of desperation. If someone does this to me, I typically cross them off my list for the foreseeable future.

Takeaways

What I took away from the experience, however, is the opportunity to reflect on my performance in the interview. Overall, I was happy with how it went and wouldn’t change much. However, after a deeper dive, I recognize that perhaps I could have spent less time discussing technology and more time discussing vision. Or, I could have asked for more details about the story rather than focusing so much on the execution. These aren’t things to fret about. They’re only for future reference and to help refine my interview style.

The most important takeaway, however, is that I made it on the list in the first place. Like I mentioned… The decision was down to me and three other DPs, all of whom I am certain could and would do a fantastic job!

When I started in this industry (many) years ago, all I wanted was to be in the running. True, I didn’t get this job. I’m missing out on the paycheck, the credit, and the stroke to the ego, but as far as I’m concerned… I won! The experience was positive, and it may (or may not) lead to other things. In the meantime… I have editing to do.

What does this have to do with writing?

As a professional DP who also works as a writer, I can assure you this experience has EVERYTHING to do with writing! The next time you get a rejection letter for something you have submitted (and you will), please take a moment to congratulate yourself for making it into the race. You will have completed something worthy of review, consideration, and response. Next, use that rejection as a guide to future improvement, not a reason to beat yourself down. If you insist on feeling the pain for a while, set a time limit. Twenty minutes or an hour. Feel the feelings, then move on.

Finally, remind yourself why you write. If you do this work for fame and wealth, you will always end up disappointed, and your achievements will never be enough. I suspect that, as a writer, you have something to say and want others to read it. Keep at it, and the right audience will come.

This is an industry of resilience, and like the mob… this is the life we have chosen. Learning how to navigate its quirks, disappointments, and successes is key to longevity in the ranks and to achieving your goals. Hooray for rejection!

So… how you handle hearing “no?” Let me know in the comments!

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